CONFIDENCE ON STEROIDS

THE other day I meet these two gals for lunch -- well-travelled, sophisticated types (in a Sex And The City and not a South Bombay way) -- in who's presence I felt a wee bit self-conscious. In the first few minutes of the meeting, I was transported back to school; I was the fat, ugly one, and they were the 'popular' people. This feeling decreased in intensity, as the afternoon wore on. But it did not go away completely.

There was this one booboo moment, where their Italian guy friend stooped down to catch my name. Stupid me -- I thought he was being all Portuguese about introductions, and giving me a peck on both cheeks. He smiled and asked, "Do you want a kiss?!"

The girls smirked (I don't blame them) at my little faux pas, and maybe, two years back I would have shrivelled up and died. This time round, I smiled awkwardly for a few seconds and then the moment was over, overshadowed by a volley of clever repartees from two gals and the guy.

The afternoon proceeded fluidedly. Food, drinks, conversations, confidences and lots of launghs. They were very conversant, and had news, views and staunch opinions to share on all topics under the sun -- from politics to high fashion, food and culture. But they are far from perfect. One had much to desire in her personal life. The other had much to desire in her professional life.

Yet, I have a feeling they will exude confidence in any setting, due to some inherent X-factor, which one can't define. Or maybe it's due to their Ivy League education, having lived in more than one international city, and being born to somewhat affluent (and by that I don't mean necessarily rich) backgrounds.

These girls were funny and smart and nice. At first I thought I was in awe of them. But no, I don't want to be any of them. But I do envy that level of confidence, of being able to hold your own anywhere.

Yes, I felt both envious and slightly in awe -- of this quality in them.